miniatures, painting, gaming. It's mostly dwarves, mostly painted while drunk. Welcome.

This aint a scene(ario), its a goddam arms race!

So… Yes…I know that the blog name suggests that it’s all about the metal, and yes I know that I’ve blathered on about how I only let the plastic in occasionally and yes…I know that I always want my units to have some character… But. But. Well, yer see…I blame Mantic. See, until Kings of War v2 turned up, I could happily field five large guns and my warsmiths would ensure that they actually hit their targets. But not now.

Smiths are pretty null and void which meant at the last game I fielded several hundred points of dud. So whats a poor dwarf boy to do (‘cept play in a rock n roll band)? This…

50 with spears. Back of cavalry!
And 50 with axes. Hoo yeah.

And all for seven quid a bag from Twisted Pinnacle – cheers fellas. Without trimming off the bases this should mean four horde sized units. Strength in numbers is the way forward. Oh, and these…

The Pound Shop strikes again!
Two units of stone elementals for the princely sum of £3. Artillery is out, surged-up-the-field-by-wizards stoney attacks are in. Grey undercoat, dark wash, grey drybrush and done methinks.

Hurrah for plastic!


Swimming Through Treacle

Painty time of late has been at best sporadic and for the last couple of weeks, non-existant. What I have managed to do in the last couple of months though is actually follow through with jobs that I started a while ago, which I was determined to finish before returning to dwarf mountain…

First up… One dwarf riding a giant bat! I may have to steal a stat block from the elf army list to get him on the field for KoW mind.



Next up, Cthulhu. Or rather, Mini Cthulhu. A really nice Reaper Bones figure and good fun to paint. It certainly made a difference to squinting at stunty detail…




And finally, another Bones figure. Slightly bigger (or should that be ‘more heroic’?) than the other chaos warriors in my collection but a lovely figure either way.



Right…now its back to being a dutiful partner and parent for the rest of Saturday daytime before heading back to the painting mine this evening…

Kev Adams Dwarfs and Brilliant Customer Service.

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This little selection turned up in the post the other day and I wasted no time in getting the undercoat on. These are Ral Partha dwarfs sculpted by Kev Adams. I know that Mr Adams is best known as the Goblinmaster, but on the evidence of these guys, I think that his dwarf work is under-rated.

Off at a tangent, but worth a mention – I purchased these from Twisted Pinnacle and I wanted to sing their praises. While I’d ordered some Reaper Bones figures at the same time, it was all out of stock which prompted a really fast refund, an apologetic email, and a complimentary pack of Haribo sweets in the package with the dwarfs as a way of saying sorry. To top this, when they managed to locate one of the mins that I wanted to order, hiding in a stock area that it shouldn’t be(!), they contacted me to let me know. Whilst we all long for an analogue world where we go into a local games shop, receive top notch customer service and a sense that the retailer gives a flying f*** for our custom, in my experience this rarely happens. However, its also extremely rare that I feel like a valued customer  who receives a tailored service from an on-line retailer and I really have received this from Twisted Pinnacle. I’ve purchased a boardgame for £80 in a physical shop where I go regularly and have received barely a grunt of acknowledgement, and yet here I’ve been treated as a valued customer even though the mini in question was valued at about £2.50. Hence, I’m bigging them up here, and will definitely be giving them repeat business.

Now back to dwarfs! Bar the basing (basing…grr…a chore) this bunch are nearly ready to go to war. For a plastic kit with limited posing I’m happy with how they turned out. The front rank has a bit of a last supper vibe – or is it just me?

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Right…off to write my shopping list for the Derby Worlds show this weekend. Toodle pip!

They say you should never go off half-cocked…

…and they’d be correct. You know how it is…you build and paint a unit, give ’em a back story (in this case a quasi-religous order who chop off half their penis as a sign of devotion to their god and who sleep with their rifle…yes, I know, I need to get out of the house more) and what happens? They’ve hardly shot f*** all in any of the battles in which they’ve deployed.  So ladies and germs I give you The Half Cox. Less use than a chocolate teapot.


And the eminently more useful Blue Blood Brothers. Mostly Asgard’s, some Grenadiers, and a bit of Citadel including a couple of Finecasts (never again).


Works In Progress…and not all of them are dwarves!

Sometimes I get a bit dwarfed-out and have to paint something else for a change. At these times I usually dip into my leadpile/plastic stash and grab something that inspires. On this occasion I was bamboozled by choice and set about a few projects – some of them may get finished…some of them may return to the half-done box for another year – who knows:

First up, a nearly-finished ‘duck about town’ that I picked up at a show last year. This charming little fella is by Rapier Miniatures. They do some really cool and quirky stuff; pumpkin men, witches riding motorbikes and some Wild West skeletons. Very oldschool feel as well.

While ducks normally suggest Runequest, this guy is a bit too renaissance rather than bronze age – couldn’t resist though.



Next up: a Chronicle Bat, greenstuffed to fill and blend in the gap between body and wings, awaiting priming, painting and then being ridden by a dwarf into a Kings Of War bloodbath. It’s pretty hefty, this. Genuinely ‘eavy metal.


Here’s the newest additions to my Dwarf legions, and the ones that made me realise that I need a stunty-break. While I’m not huge fan of all-plastic units I don’t mind making the occasional exception, especially when they’re free of charge (cheers Leo!) and you can see some character. These guys are Mantic – really easy to assemble and actually more characterful than I expected considering that the unit have only two body types. Especially liking the pipe smoker, one from the right.



The guy above on the left is a Reaper Chaos warrior that I’ve had for about three years. He’s been taken out and then returned back to the ‘undone’ box more times that I’ve had hot dinners. On his right, a Reaper Bones chaos fella that will serve as a unit leader or individual. Really like the Bones stuff. The sword was quite bent when he came out of the blister pack, but as per the advice, dipped into boiling water, bent into shape then dipped into cold water and it was sorted out a treat.

Finally an old pre slotta wizard. Haven’t a clue of the manufacturer. Again, one I’ve had for a few years, found in an Ebay joblot and in-and-out of the ‘undone’ box a few times. Finally painted but with a few fine details needed to finish him off.


Whether any of this stuff gets finished before the dwarf bug grips me again, who knows…

Spear-mince Rhinos & The Dogs Of War (or) Mutts and more dwarves…

More from the ranks of my Dwarf force! I give you the Spear-mince Rhinos  dwarf spearmen (bar one).. Once again a mix of old school goodness – mostly Grenadiers, the odd Citadel and Asgard and a lovely, very regal, female Ral Partha leading the unit. Women rule in this unit, oh yes…


Also up tonight are my (in Mantic, Kings Of War terms) throwing Mastiffs  – dogs to be thrown into the enemy units to gnaw away before my stunties step in and do the real damage. These were a pack of five from Deezee Miniatures. Randomly pictured here with an old Grenadier AD&D Miniatures two man crossbow crew.

Green-stuffed ball added for extra cuteness to lure elves into a false sense of security. Woof!

Ten Shitz Of Grey, 20p dwarves and a dwarf king on a bear

Keeping the steady stream of Dwarf goodness coming (and returning to a better standard of picture quality!), here we have…

A Dwarf riding a bear! What’s not to love? Especially when he’s smashing the back doors in of a trio of werewolves as per Friday night’s Kings of war sesh. The moon & mountains motif is the first freehand shield design that I’ve been pleased with and it’s spurred me on to dally a bit more with that kind of thing.



And secondly, the Ten Shitz Of Grey. An Essex Miniatures unit leader, an Asgard, a couple of Grenadier figures and the rest of the unit are EM4 plastic versions of the old Grenadier sculpts. These guys are an absolute bargain. Please do check out the EM4 site as I spotted some joker on EBay asking £3.50 for three of these when you can pick them up direct for about 20p per figure – a really good way to bulk out a unit on the cheap. The quality is not going to be as good as the original casts but at that price…


Dwarf Behemoth

So,  what started life as an unwanted 40k Chimera (thanks Phil!) has transformed into a Dwarf tank. Possibly the easiest paint job that I’ve done. Grey undercoat, dark brown wash, stipple on orange, a dash of the Citadel “Called something dramatic but basically vedigre effect” stuff and a dry brush of brass and yer done. Add on one drink-driving berserker and a couple of hand painted advertising boards, cotton wool for steam and its ready for battle.

I’ve seen on blogs that the Behemoth at 200 points isn’t worth the cost. On last night’s performance I’d disagree. It made a mess of the elf left flank. While my imbibing a pint of coke, eating biscuits and a run of double ones rolled by t’other side helped turn the battle in my dwarves’  favour the hulking booze-fueled wagon did it’s bit..




After! Rear guns removed to allow the steam to escape, front machine gun removed to change the feel from Grimdark Dystopian Future ™ to allow for a whimsycal fantasy vibe. Advertising hoarding inspired by Viz comic (“Smoke Tabs”). Turret converted with a 2 litre coke bottle top to give it a mid 30’s Italian vibe and a super glue cap added to the gun to give it some ‘umf’. And yes, the exhaust was a Citadel paint pot. Steam provided by ‘cotton wool balls’ from Boots The Chemist.


The Driver. Mad Bob Two-Pints-No-Chasers


Steaming into action prior to rolling over a unit of elf cavalry


Tomorrow…more dwarfs!

Dwarf artillery!

I’d planned to stick up some before and after pics of my Dwarf Behemoth conversion but that’ll have to wait as as I just can’t be arsed  (I’m on my second humungous vodka and tonic, winding down from a massive Dwarf vs undead/elf alliance victory. So instead here are a couple of pics of two of five artillery units that were fielded tonight. I’ve gone for a mini-diorama feel on my big guns. Trees courtesy of a man that has a model railway stall on Loughborough market on a Friday, stones from my garden, hilly bits sculpted up from a combo of green stuff and floor tiles!

Old pre slotta as featured in the main blog photo with some green-stuffed toadstools!
Mantic organ gun and crew with an Asgard pre slotta as the warsmith to make the thing actually hit stuff!

Tomorrow…a dwarf tank and maybe some random PIC from tonight’s battle…

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